Sunday, May 20, 2012

#SixSunday - Circle of the Butterfly #3

In last week's six, Liasneh outed Sister Colette's secret to the king and his court. A birthday might seem a little thing, but the Kelmarine have celebrated Colette's birth on the winter solstice for thousands of years. Combine that with her advanced age, and the "summer baby" fact is more than simply shocking; it's an explanation of sorts for why a woman who's supposed to be immortal isn't.

I'm skipping ahead here a bit. After a tense conversation about defiance of the gods, Liasneh plunges her sergeant's sword into the box. She offers the ominous display as a birthday gift to her dear sister, and leaves the way she came, through a ring of blue smoke.



Colette pulled against the knights that held her back but couldn't free herself. The top of the box split, then the walls unfolded and fell to the floor with a series of bangs that silenced the room. Thousands of butterflies fluttered up into the air, revealing Liasneh’s gift as they cleared the space.

[A guest of the king's] young daughter, Princess Vanessa let out a blood curdling scream.

A little girl in a white dress, five years old, perhaps six, lay upon a cloud of wild flowers. It would have been a lovely wake for a soul so young, if not for the massive blade pinning her to the floor.



This is the last six I'm posting from the prologue, so I'll explain. Twelve Oracles are needed to destroy Liasneh. The little girl would have been the twelfth.

Please check out the other authors at Six Sentence Sunday. Some of my favorites are Sarah BallanceKrystal WadeMonica Enderle PierceSiobhan MuirSarah W.Pippa Jay, Kelly Seguin, and Steven Montano.

Writers! Participation in SSS is straightforward. Submit a link to the host site between 6:00 pm Tuesday and 11:59 pm on Saturday. Post a six sentence excerpt on your blog by 9 am Eastern (US) on Sunday.

40 comments:

  1. Beautifully violent. I love it. :-)

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  2. Holy cow, Wendy! This is marvelous.

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    1. Marvelous? Wow. Maybe I should take this out of the drawer ;)

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  3. WOW. You had me the whole way through, but the ending ... phenomenal!

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  4. Awesome 6! Love the last sentence! Very intriguing and pull you right in to want more, more, more!!!

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    1. Thanks LJ. And there's a lot more. Like 210k more at the moment. :)

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  5. oh gosh! That ended with a bang - love it. Sounds a great story

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  6. Wow this is very intriguing. What a way to leave you hanging in the end. Great 6!

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  7. Creative! I suspect the release of butterflies represent something here. Good six!

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  8. Yowzers! Beautiful description and a chilling finish!!!

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    1. Always a tremendous compliment coming from you, Steven :)

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  9. Your description is addicting, Wendy. The way you write makes me think "I sure wish I'd wrote that". The details about the birthday is a wonderful twist that puts a question in the readers mind and your final sentence of your Six is a pure page turner.

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    1. Thank you, ML :) It's so sweet of you to say that :)

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  10. Whoa! Gruesome six, Wendy. And great description. I can't wait to read more. Nicely done. Thank you for the mention! :)

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    1. I'm going to have to think about next week's six. I may have set the bar a little high ;)

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  11. Love this six, Wendy! :) Great description and great ending.

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  12. Dang! That's so effed up. I *love* it! The butterflies and flowers are a particularly disturbing and fabulous touch.

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  13. Ewww. But actually that's terrific. Very nice six.

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  14. Wow, excellent visual! I love your writing!

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  15. Butterflies and death. I'm hooked. I definitely want to know more about this. A wonderful six. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Butterflies and death. I was enamored with the juxtaposition the moment I typed it. Thank you :)

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  16. This excerpt pulled my emotions in so many directions in just six sentences - wow. I'm wrung out. Dramatic, effective six.

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    1. Thank you Veronica :) I love this whole scene.

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  17. So eerie, shocking, and disturbingly beautiful with a pwer punch of an ending. What a superb six!

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  18. Leaves me wondering if the little girl was dead before the sword was plunged into the box.

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  19. Very visual scene that drew me into that world right up to the shocking child at the end. Intriguing six.

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