Sunday, May 20, 2012

#SixSunday - Circle of the Butterfly #3

In last week's six, Liasneh outed Sister Colette's secret to the king and his court. A birthday might seem a little thing, but the Kelmarine have celebrated Colette's birth on the winter solstice for thousands of years. Combine that with her advanced age, and the "summer baby" fact is more than simply shocking; it's an explanation of sorts for why a woman who's supposed to be immortal isn't.

I'm skipping ahead here a bit. After a tense conversation about defiance of the gods, Liasneh plunges her sergeant's sword into the box. She offers the ominous display as a birthday gift to her dear sister, and leaves the way she came, through a ring of blue smoke.


Colette pulled against the knights that held her back but couldn't free herself. The top of the box split, then the walls unfolded and fell to the floor with a series of bangs that silenced the room. Thousands of butterflies fluttered up into the air, revealing Liasneh’s gift as they cleared the space.

[A guest of the king's] young daughter, Princess Vanessa let out a blood curdling scream.

A little girl in a white dress, five years old, perhaps six, lay upon a cloud of wild flowers. It would have been a lovely wake for a soul so young, if not for the massive blade pinning her to the floor.


This is the last six I'm posting from the prologue, so I'll explain. Twelve Oracles are needed to destroy Liasneh. The little girl would have been the twelfth.

Please check out the other authors at Six Sentence Sunday. Some of my favorites are Sarah Ballance, Krystal Wade, Monica Enderle Pierce, Siobhan Muir, Sarah W., Pippa Jay, Kelly Seguin, and Steven Montano.

Writers! Participation in SSS is straightforward. Submit a link to the host site between 6:00 pm Tuesday and 11:59 pm on Saturday. Post a six sentence excerpt on your blog by 9 am Eastern (US) on Sunday.
Posted by Wendy at
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40 comments:

  1. UnknownMay 20, 2012 at 5:13 AM

    Beautifully violent. I love it. :-)

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  2. Sarah WMay 20, 2012 at 8:36 AM

    Holy cow, Wendy! This is marvelous.

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    Replies
    1. WendyMay 20, 2012 at 2:32 PM

      Marvelous? Wow. Maybe I should take this out of the drawer ;)

      Delete
  3. Paula MartinMay 20, 2012 at 9:03 AM

    Intriguing scenario!

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  4. Sarah BallanceMay 20, 2012 at 9:09 AM

    WOW. You had me the whole way through, but the ending ... phenomenal!

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  5. L.J. KentowskiMay 20, 2012 at 9:26 AM

    Awesome 6! Love the last sentence! Very intriguing and pull you right in to want more, more, more!!!

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    1. WendyMay 20, 2012 at 2:34 PM

      Thanks LJ. And there's a lot more. Like 210k more at the moment. :)

      Delete
  6. UnknownMay 20, 2012 at 9:38 AM

    oh gosh! That ended with a bang - love it. Sounds a great story

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  7. Loni FlowersMay 20, 2012 at 10:06 AM

    Wow this is very intriguing. What a way to leave you hanging in the end. Great 6!

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  8. Wildcats WifeMay 20, 2012 at 12:01 PM

    Creative! I suspect the release of butterflies represent something here. Good six!

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  9. Daezarkian13May 20, 2012 at 12:40 PM

    Yowzers! Beautiful description and a chilling finish!!!

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    1. WendyMay 20, 2012 at 2:35 PM

      Always a tremendous compliment coming from you, Steven :)

      Delete
  10. M.L. FalconerMay 20, 2012 at 12:57 PM

    Your description is addicting, Wendy. The way you write makes me think "I sure wish I'd wrote that". The details about the birthday is a wonderful twist that puts a question in the readers mind and your final sentence of your Six is a pure page turner.

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    1. WendyMay 20, 2012 at 2:36 PM

      Thank you, ML :) It's so sweet of you to say that :)

      Delete
  11. Siobhan MuirMay 20, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    Whoa! Gruesome six, Wendy. And great description. I can't wait to read more. Nicely done. Thank you for the mention! :)

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    1. WendyMay 20, 2012 at 2:38 PM

      I'm going to have to think about next week's six. I may have set the bar a little high ;)

      Delete
  12. Kelly SeguinMay 20, 2012 at 2:03 PM

    Love this six, Wendy! :) Great description and great ending.

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  13. Monica Enderle PierceMay 20, 2012 at 2:06 PM

    Dang! That's so effed up. I *love* it! The butterflies and flowers are a particularly disturbing and fabulous touch.

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  14. Elin GregoryMay 20, 2012 at 2:40 PM

    Ewww. But actually that's terrific. Very nice six.

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  15. KateMay 20, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    Gruesome and yet awesome!

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  16. gemma parkesMay 20, 2012 at 4:24 PM

    Wow, excellent visual! I love your writing!

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  17. AnonymousMay 20, 2012 at 4:42 PM

    Butterflies and death. I'm hooked. I definitely want to know more about this. A wonderful six. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. WendyMay 20, 2012 at 7:05 PM

      Butterflies and death. I was enamored with the juxtaposition the moment I typed it. Thank you :)

      Delete
  18. Veronica ScottMay 20, 2012 at 5:09 PM

    This excerpt pulled my emotions in so many directions in just six sentences - wow. I'm wrung out. Dramatic, effective six.

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    1. WendyMay 20, 2012 at 7:04 PM

      Thank you Veronica :) I love this whole scene.

      Delete
  19. Mae ClairMay 20, 2012 at 6:38 PM

    So eerie, shocking, and disturbingly beautiful with a pwer punch of an ending. What a superb six!

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  20. Sue Ann BowlingMay 21, 2012 at 1:11 AM

    Leaves me wondering if the little girl was dead before the sword was plunged into the box.

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  21. Gem SivadMay 21, 2012 at 7:50 AM

    Very visual scene that drew me into that world right up to the shocking child at the end. Intriguing six.

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